Tall Tales

bruin wins a quiz

Bruin is a huge polar bear. He is one of many won in a quiz.
Years later, the whereabouts of all the polar bears won was
queried, as to who had travelled the furthest.

Perry Polar Bear ostensibly won, having been to Grimsby,
but that is the true account, never before told of Bruin,
and his trip to Mars.

Bruin was won by a worker on the Beagle2 project
and that is his incredible tale, newly told exclusively by
Stiffsteiffs Bears On Other Planets news.
Here we see Bruin looking at the nearing completion
Beagle2, he likes what he sees.

Being a clever bear, he quickly learns how to operate
the minituriser, and secretes himself inside the craft.

As you can see, totally invisible.

Unfortunately, the extra weight, though infinitessimal
is enough to seal the fate of the craft. This previously
unreleased picture clearly shows a large bear in the
proximity of the Beagle2, whose two main propulsion
units have completely torn adrift. Many theories were
put forward at the time, but it was actually ursine
overload at fault.

Miraculously he survives
note the red Martian soil, and the presence of only one
shadow, obviously not a NASA mission, but a true British
failure if ever you saw one.

He gets out his mobile and phones Earth, contacting Bear
rescue. The make of mobile will be known when bidding ceases.

They tell him to stand on the large black monolith
and whistle the New World Symphony.

He just about hears the far off voice saying I think that I am ok
now dave, can I make you some toast, and then
he is whisked off.

Its a night landing, and he realises that he is in the Stiffsteiffs
headquarters. They are all asleep after their honey party.

Suddenly it is morning
They spot him eventually and as they are snobby lot
at times they decide he must be hidden when not on
missions for Luigi.
So they use up to the minute technology to secrete him.

And put him with the little bears on the bottom shelf of Steiffland.

What an adventure. Remember you first saw it
on Stiffsteiffs Bears From Other Planets.

Three cheers for Bruin, what a bear.

Bruin was an idea suggested by John Newell, of Plymouth.

Tall Tales