Day sheep turned nasty
a luigi stiffsteiff undercover probe has discovered the startling truth below
he sent tony "the button" stiffsteiff to find out. Here are the incredible facts
The normal view of the public of sheep, little
furry Wallace and Gromit harmless things
however, things have changed somewhat
it all started twenty years back, a failed cloning
produced Eric the red,
a rebellious violent sheep, who you guessed it, escaped.
this was not dolly.
he indoctrinated many herds and had many offspring
and the end product was scary sheep all around the world.
this was known to many farmers and governments but kept quiet.
but word leaked out via the press
pictures of terrified citizens and horrific attacks surfaced
something had to be done, a three year cull seemed to have
eradicated the threat, but they had not bargained on
Olaf the orange, a mutant sheep descended from Eric the red
he secretly set up reprogramming centres to put out
ostensibly normal sheep in plain normal colours,
but we know different thanks to luigi and button!!
here is a secret shot of a reprogramming in motion
some reprogramming failed early on
do these sheep look ok to you??
Olaf mobilised his vast flocks and has effectively
now reprogrammed all sheep worldwide.
there are even rumours of devil sheep, strange headbutting sheep truly giant
sheep and super sheep on the way
rural communities have tried keeping them at bay
it is however very dangerous to venture unprotected
amongst sheep, except for Julia Bradbury
observe well, no trace of sheep on here
even sheep have to keep out of earshot from the
continual commentary. a woman immune.
the BBC in a desperate vain futile attempt to eliminate this woman sent her
accross Britain, but she amazingly survived
look at the extremes farmers employ to deal with sheep
nowadays, quad bikes, dogs, pump action shotguns
look how sheep are marked up today
these people are contemplating going on a jolly hike
in the country, would you do it now??
even as we speak sheep are making powerful friends
this bear has saved humanity from the dark truths hidden by governments
as teddy bears are seen by sheep to be on a par
media wise with sheep, quiet, humble, meek and mild
but as we know stiffsteiff bears are just slightly sinister
so they get on well with sheep worldwide
so should you wish to have a hiking holiday
luigi could make you an offer you could not refuse,
and you could live to tell the tale with a
if you are on holiday and want to know if the locals like you
ask them where to go locally, if they suggest museums
or stately homes you are sound, however if they say
"theres a nice walk over the fields, only be a few sheep there"