Sherlock and the Ferrits
An apparently idyllic scene from Brave Daves fourth hole.
Golfers playing blissfully unaware of the danger lurking
only inches away from their feet.
Hard to spot isnt it. But a master criminal brain is at work.
Dastardly deeds are afoot.
Brave Dave before all hell broke loose.
Note the laconic smile of contentment.
But what is this. A messenger duly arrives via blow dart
on his leafy window ledge, holding out an envelope to
Brave Dave and telling him to call a mobile number.
Aghast at the contents Brave Dave dials furiously.
The contents reveal the Master criminal mind, Moriaty Mole,
has infringed steadily on the fourth green with a classic pincer
movement of molehills, and no one ever noticed.
Is all too late for our intrepid Head Green keeper Brave Dave.
The sinister trail of destruction, picture two.
At the bottom of the climb to the Green,
clearly visible super molehills.
The ghastly truth unfolds in all its grisly reality.
Huge molehills are at the very brink of the green.
Is this the end for Brave Dave.
The phone call draws his attention to the last picture, and
what happened to the last course that did not pay up,
three tier green 17 totally moled.
Fortunately Brave Dave knows Luigi Stiffsteiff, who sends
Sherlock Holmes Stiffsteiff to investigate, who is known to be
a golf fanatic, coupled with his ace sleuthing.
He initially posts an advert in the local papers,
have you seen the Mole above, he has a brown coat and black piggy eyes.
But he has scant response except from mad Jock Mc Mad
who lives on the funny farm on the fifth.
Fortunately Sherlock also knows Doug and Dinsdale Ferrit.
They dont trouble too much with the niceties, John.
They soon locate the hideout of Moriaty by a mixture
of mental terrorism, sarcasm, hyperbole,
and brute force and brutality.
Sherlock begs them to allow Frank the Frog in to mediate
first, hoping for a compromise. But the Ferrits have a word with Frank on the quiet,
so he advocates total annihilation and nuclear destruction as the only option.
In fact he was suspected of this in the unfortunate episode of Spiny Norman
and the eventual complete destruction of Luton, but this, as with all
Doug and Dinsdale episodes, was never proven.
So here we see the three rings of mole defences tranquil, before the Ferrits.
Some who surrendered, were actually spared,
and sent to work in the Ferrit mines in Epping.
However the rest perished in a devastating inferno,
so characteristic of Ferrit negotiation.
The motto being, dont mess with Brave Dave
unless you want a psychotic ferrit around to see you, John.
Another triumph for Brave Dave and the forces of Good,
over the evil Moriaty and his Manic Moles.
Three cheers for the intrepid Sherlock Holmes Stiffsteiff as well.